Filmfare Awards 2020

Though its a bit late to review filmfare awards 2020, but its very critical one. First of all this award function was much criticized as peoples' expectation did not meet the reality. Gully Boy bagged total 13 awards creating history in indian cinema for winning most no. of awards for a single film. Personally, I loved that film and the performances as well but the other nominated actors did not pay their hard work.
 As Ranveer Singh won best actors award, it was a bit difficult to accept it as the other performances like Hritik Roshan in Super 30 and Shahid Kapoor in Kabir Singh had seduced me more.

 Talking about best actress Alia Bhatt was superb but the performance of Kangana Ranaut in Judgemental hai kya was extra ordinary which again I thought was unfair to her.
 
Gully boy as best film was good decision with Zoya Akhtar getting best director and best film in critics Article 15 and Sonchiriya was again best decision with respectively directors Anubhav Sinha and Abhisekh Chaubey were at their best.

Ayushmann Khurrana got best actors critics and similarly best actress critics was a tie between Taapsee Pannu and Bhumi Pednekar from Saand Ki Aankh.

Best male debut was given to Abhimanyu Dassani from Mard Ko Dard Nahi Hota and not Siddhanth Chaturbedi for Gully boy but the later was given best actor in supporting role. Seems like filmfare has to give awards to every actors present there.

Ananya Pandey was given best female debut which was again controversial. Everyone knows "Nepotism Rocks".

Arijit Singh bagged best playback singer male consecutively for the fifth time where in female category Shilpa Rao got it .

Best Lyricist award was again controversial one. Divine got it from Apna Time Aayega and Manoj Muntashir criticized it for not getting one.

Aaditya Dhar got best debut director for Uri- The Surgical Strike which was the most digestible.

For writing category, Article 15 was denoted as best story and best screenplay and dialogues was from Gully Boy.

Some digestible and some controversial but overall entertainment, the ceremony was hosted by Karan Johar and Vickey Kaushal in Guwahati.

Tragedy of Unusual Parenting

This is the story based on real incident that I had seen closely. So there was this day in our colony when a new family were shifting. The family consist of only 3 members a father, a mother and a 10 year old boy.. It seemed like small family happy family scenario but who knew the actual truth.

The small boy's pet name was 'saaney'. Saaney was a little reserved and sophisticated child in comparison to other child. He was never seen in the playground with other child. There was a noise of dispute hissing around the locality regularly. And the dispute would be between Saaney's mom and dad.This clearly showed that the family is not a happy family. This daily activity had  affected Saaney a lot. He never socialized and interacted with anyone, anywhere. His class mate had said that he used to be bullied because of his silent nature. Instead of playing with others, he would prefer to  watch them through a window.

One day Saaney's mom was scolding him saying "you did not study hard and failed the exam and therefore your father gets drunk everyday and hence we end up having a long dispute." And Saaney with teary eyes was requesting his mom to stop beating him. After some moment, Saaney went to terrace crying  and sat there for a long time. He was sweeping his tears with his sleeves and when I entered there he left the terrace in a hurry and went to his room.

This was happenning on a daily basis. There I got to know the reason behind hiss introvert nature. One day his mom requested me to give him some tuitions and I happily agreed to do so. Here I got more time to know him vividly. I used to notice that he was always disturbed with the surrounding. He was afraid of really small things. Through his parents, I got to know that he was going to be sent to Darjeeling upto his 10th class in a hostel. They told me that they will visit him once in a month. Even I thought that it would be better for him to say far from such negative environment so he can concentrate on his studies. I asked him whether he can live far away from parents. Sketching on his drawing copy, he replied "What can I say when my parents don't want me to live with them." This was a very hard hitting reply from a child which was unexpected for me.

As usual Saaney was being tortured by his mother. I thought to have some words with her and give Saaney the freedom he deserves. As I was going towards his room, I saw him running upward through stairs. His mom was shouting his name and commanded to come back to room. After that I ran towards him as well and what I saw was  bizzare. Saaney jumped off the building from terrace and banged his head reaching ground. I was in a shock and when I went down to rescue he had already died. Ground was full of blood and in his hand was a small note written "Mom, Dad I'm sorry. I was clueless and cannot control myself." At the moment his father came with a cake and a greeting card written "Happy Birthday Saaney." This incident gave me sleepless nights.

Nawazuddin Siddhiqui gives a kick in my life

Nawazuddin Siddhiqui gives a kick in my life

Whenever you hear the word 'KICK', what is the first thing your mind captures? A slap from the leg? Or Salman Khan's movie? Actually, the kick that I got from Nawaz is related to his own movie KICK, coincidentally. I am proud to say that he is my very first inspiration in my life.

So everything starts from the year 2016. I just gave my 10 class board exam and I was free to use smartphone 24/7. And in the generation where every teenagers were busy in social media I was busy in watching movies. There was a long 3 month holiday and I used to watch 3-4 movies a day. I was a complete movie lover and I never distinguished good films and bad films. My judgement was equal to every movie. One day I rewatched a movie called "Munna Bhai MBBS." There I noticed something familiar in a scene and boom, it was Nawazuddin. That brought my curiosity about Nawaz. After that I searched his each and every movie of the past and started to watch them. I watched Black Friday, Manorama; six feet under, Lunchbox and obviously the masterpiece of all time, Gangs Of Wasseypur. And then I was introduced to the Nawazuddin genre. Then I got to know about the struggling story of him. I was so impressed and so mesmerized with his struggling days that I started to dream of having same life. Slowly and gradually I made up my mind to take acting as a carrier choice. 

After that just by seeing Nawazuddin, I dreamt of becoming of an actor no matter what ever the consequences would be. Since then I am struggling to enter into movie industry (Nepali) and got a lot of things to learn about life from him. 

This is how Nawazuddin Siddhiqui gave me a kick in life.

My First Masturbation

My First Masturbation

The word 'Masturbation' is a sign of maturity for early teenagers. This is like having mini sex to them. Even I was excited about it when I was 12 years old. I didn't know the consequences or feeling after masturbation but it was the hot topic around our friend circle. Some of my friends had tried it so I was pretty aware about the process. Just cover your penis inside your fist and move it front and back.

So there was this dusky beautiful afternoon and I just came back from my school. Coincidentally, there was no one in the house and I thought this is the most perfect time to have the experience. In that excitement I was so hurry that I didn't watch any porn while masturbating, but I had knowledge through my friend that it can be done with imagination as well. Therefore, I started to imagine one of my crushes from school into an intimate scene from a movie with me. And I started in processing it. 

As the imagination was going more  intimate, my hand was moving faster. I was like the whole world is in my hand and I was about to conquer the world. After so much effort of imagining for around 5 minutes, I started to sense something beautiful creature is coming out as if a mother is delivering her baby. My heartbeat nearly came to 100  beat/sec. Then suddenly my sperm came out but I was worried and thought that "OMG, I'm dying. My urine has just froze." Later  I remembered that there is a word called sperm and this is it. It was the most beautiful feeling in the world. I feel so matured that the day onward I stopped watching Cartoon Network and started watching Star World. 

And the next day when I was going to school, I was in different zone. I was feeling matured than any other guy in the room. I became stud in front of my friend and started to begin the masturbation topic and always led it. Even while studying the topic Masturbation in course book, my expression was like " oh! I know about this more than the teacher himself." 

Now when I remember it, it feels so funny and a beautiful journey as well. So this was my experience about first masturbation.   

Funny Poem on Crush

CRUSH

By being in front of them, we feel like trash

Only for whom we do thrice a day brush

Just to see a glimpse of them, we always be in a rush

Poetic world has given them a name 'CRUSH'.

Crush could be anyone; friend, teacher or neighboring aunt

Thinking of them sometimes we forget to wear shirt and even pant

We want to breathe freely but in front of them we can't

In our daily life, their name is only thing we chant.

We fly over the world when she touches us

Our mind and body fully stretches up

I am not sure whether it is you or some drugs but

the dream of marrying you and making children chases up.

Crush is like some networks, i.e. unreachable

In the world, our personality becomes teasable

Getting you is like making a home run, but

it is not easy as we cannot compare you with baseball.

 

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

I was born on Feb. 2000 so I lost a chance to relate myself with 90's kid. However the era is same. There are a lot of things that mesmerize us and take us to nostalgia. And the moments with friends had to be in this list for sure.

So lets start from the beginning. I was born in a small town of Nepal called Butwal. As my anatomical and psychological structure was developing, my hometown was also developing rapidly. Today after 20 years it is one of the developed city of nation. And in the span of this 20 years I got several chances to meet with amazingly great persons.

Talking about childhood, I never had close friends as I was very reserved person and never went out to meet people. Gradually in school I met with some people but never had that connection a real friend had. After 6 years of schooling I got my first best friend. We used to hang out together, play with each other. Basically, we were partners in crime. But as the destiny had written different thing, he left school after 4 years and I was left alone. But when life takes something from you, it gives a lot in exchange. I learned to be a extrovert person. I started interacting with different people and this helped my mass communicating skill. In class 10, I had one of my most memorable and best time that I could ever think of. But it was again a temporary happiness. I gave my board exams and moved forward for higher education. Now at this time I had become a stud for myself only. I thought that making new friends would make me cool, and hanging out in standard and expensive places would uplift my standards, but again I was wrong. I was in my adolescence period and I was forgetting my old friends. As the time was going, I was again left alone and this time I was alone mentally. I had no one to share my thoughts and happiness which nearly led me to attempt suicide. But when I went to college I was completely different person, my perception about friends was changed. Today, I would say that the most amazing friends that I ever had was at the time of school. We still meet at certain interval of time and organize a reunion party. Simultaneously, I am enjoying my college life with new friends.

I have written a peom in nepali that would describe my journey of making and letting go my friends.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.(SATHI)

Sathi tyo ho jo jiwan ko har ek chyan ma vetinchan

Paila metiye jasari kadam kadam ma metinchan

Feri huncha jagaruk naya sathi ko jiwanma

Ti pani gumauna pugxan pari yobanma

Dimag ma jhatka lagchha umer badhdai gayepachi

Yad ra kura haru ta purana kai hudo rahexa besi

Melmilap karyakram huncha feri tehi sathi harusanga jiwan ma

Purana yaad ra samjhana le aanshu aauchha nayan ma

Jiwan ho chalirahancha naya byakti ko vetghat le

K irsya dekhaunu jaba laane nai ho sablai aaryaghat le.

Movies

Movies information 2019

This year I watched a lot of movies,comparably more than last year. And talking about languages, I watched English, Hindi, Nepali, Spanish, German and Bengali movies. I usually prefer to watch suspense thriller genre but this year I ended up loving some dramatic and ROM-com as well.Surprisingly some movies showing a lot of negativity and misogyny also impressed me.

Here are some lists of my favorite movies of 2019

1. The Irishman(English)

2. Joker(English)

3. Gully Boy(Hindi)

4. Kabir Singh(Hindi)

5.  The Nightingale(English)

6. Official Secrets(English)

7. Section 375(Hindi)

8. Bulbul(Nepali)

9. Prasad(Nepali)

10. Super Deluxe(Tamil)

Apart from movies, I watched some amazingly terrific web series which no one should miss to watch.

Again here are some of my lists

1. Money Heist(Spanish)

2. The Family Man(Hindi)

3. Stranger Things(English)

4. Sacred Games(Hindi)

5. Kota Factory(Hindi)

6. Sex Education(English)

So, these are some of my favorite movies and web series which gave me some sleepless nights.